Here's a reality check. Self trust isn't a one time decision. It's a daily practice.…Hey there and welcome back to mindset medicine I'm doctor Julia Jingle's physician author hypnotherapist, and founder of personal awareness medicine. Your go to guide for breaking free from stress, self doubt and mental exhaustion so you can live a happier healthier and more fulfilled life. Today I'm diving into a topic that has the power to set you free from overthinking, over guessing, second guessing, and having self doubt. That's radical self trust. So I ask you why do we constantly doubt ourselves?
Why do we look outside for answers that we already have within ourselves? And how do we finally trust our gut without help spiraling into an overthinking Olympics. If you've ever thought, maybe I need to check with five different people before making this decision, then this episode is for you. By the end of this episode you'll walk away with a deep understanding my self doubt is so ingrained in us.
it's not your fault but it is your responsibility to change it.
How to break the approval seeking cycle so you can start trusting yourself like the powerhouse that you are and a simple self trust ritual to help you stop looking for validation and start owning your choices with confidence. So grab your coffee your tea your glass of wine no judgment here and settle in because it's time to stop waiting for permission and it's time to start trusting you. Here's key point number one. Why do you keep second guessing yourself? And who's to blame?
Most of us don't wake up one day and think you know what I'm gonna stop trusting myself today. Nope. Self doubt is hardwired into us from years of conditioning and much of it happens without us even knowing it.
it's like running a computer on outdated software. You don't know why it's slow and glitchy, but it's frustrating as hell. The good news is once you understand why you keep second guessing yourself, you can start reprogramming your mindset…
From childhood we're taught to follow the rules seek approval and avoid making waves. This is society and cultural conditioning. Schools parents authority, figures often emphasize obedience over autonomy. We reward children for good behavior, and we punish those who think outside of the box. So if you grew up hearing things like don't question authority or just do what you're told, then congratulations.
You were groomed to seek validation instead of trusting yourself.
and it doesn't stop in childhood. In the workplace employees are often expected to run every decision by management. In relationships we look to our partner's reassurance that we're making the right choices. Over time, we become dependent on external approval as proof that we're on the right track.
But here's the kicker. The people we seek approval for aren't living our lives. They don't have to deal with the consequences of our choices. Yet, we let their opinions dictate our confidence. The sooner that we can recognize this the sooner we can break free from the need of constant validation…
Social media games is the next one Let's be honest. Social media is a breeding ground for self doubt I've said this in multiple episodes. We wake up we grab our phones and within seconds, we're comparing our real unfiltered lives to somebody else's highlight real. We are seeing filtered perfection folks That's flawless vacations, six figure businesses perfectly decorated homes and suddenly our messy chaotic, human reality feels like it's just a disaster. A study by the Royal Society for public health found, the social media…is linked to increase anxiety depression, and self doubt especially among women.
And why wouldn't it be We're constantly bombarded with inspirational content Instead of motivating us it makes us feel like we're behind. But here's what no one tells you. Ninety nine percent of what you see online is curated. No one posts their breakdowns their failures their doubts. When you stop comparing your behind the scenes live to someone else's edited reality, you'll realize you're just doing fine.
Next let's talk about fear of judgment and rejection This is the other cause. At the core of self doubt is a primal fear of being rejected. We are social creatures. We deep down We are craving belonging.
back in the caveman days being part of a tribe was essential for your survival. And if you got rejected, it meant you were on your own and on your own meant you were tiger food. So today the stakes are much lower but the fear still remains. Instead of making choices based on what's right for us we make them based on how we are perceived. But here's the irony.
Most people aren't even paying attention to us They're too busy worrying about their own lives their own insecurities and their own self doubt So why are we wasting energy obsessing over what might happen if someone might judge us? When you realize that no one's really watching us as closely as you think, You free yourself up to trust your instincts and live for you, not for their approval…
Here's key point number two. How to shut down the validation seeking spiral? So how do you stop looking for that gold star every time you wanna make a decision? You start by rebuilding the trust within yourself. Self trust isn't something you either have or you don't have It's a skill It's a muscle you can train.
Just going to the gym. And if you've been outsourcing your confidence to other people for years, it's time to bring it back home. These three steps will help you break the cycle of second guessing and start building real, unshakable self trust
Step one. Call out the lies. One of the biggest reasons we struggle with self trust is because we believe our fears without questioning them. That little voice in your head that says what if I made the wrong decision Or what if I embarrass myself? It's not giving you facts.
It's just repeating old programming. The truth is most of our fears are based on assumptions not reality.
A great way to challenge these doubts is by writing them down and analyzing them like a detective. Let's say you're hesitating to launch a business. Apply for a promotion or set boundaries with somebody. Just ask yourself these questions. One what am I afraid of?
Name the fear. Next what's the worst case scenario? And how likely is that really…
What would I do if that happened? You'd probably survive Right? And lastly is there any actual proof that this is going to go wrong? Probably not. Most of the time our self doubt isn't based on logic It's based on our old experiences and insecurities.
The more you question these limiting thoughts the more power you take away from them. The goal isn't to eliminate fear completely. It's just stop letting it make the decisions for you. Step two strengthen your gut instinct. Here's the thing.
Your intuition is a built in GPS. But if you never use it it gets rusty.
The more you rely on others to validate your choices the harder it becomes to hear your inner voice. To build your trust in yourself. You have to start making decisions without seeking approval first. One way to do this is by practicing small, low stakes decisions every day. Instead of asking someone what you should eat for lunch, decide for yourself.
Instead of pulling your friends on what outfit to wear, just pick one. Instead of hesitating over an email, send it When you practice making small quick decisions, you strengthen the neural pathways in your brain that reinforce self trust. Over time, those small wins will add up and you start realizing Hey, I can actually do what I'm doing and I know what I'm doing. You know? Another powerful way to strengthen your gut instinct is through mindfulness.
If you constantly are distracted scrolling through social media overloading yourself with information or running on autopilot, you're gonna miss the signals that your intuition is giving you. Taking five to ten minutes a day to just sit quietly, reflect or journal can help you reconnect with your inner wisdom. The more you listen, the stronger it gets.
Step three. Take imperfect action without apologizing. One of the biggest myths about confidence is that you need to feel ready before you take action. Nope. Confident doesn't come before action.
It comes from action. Think about it You didn't learn to ride a bike by researching for months You got on and you wobbled your way forward. You didn't master your job by overthinking every step. You learned by doing. And you didn't gain confidence by playing it safe.
You gained it by pushing past your discomforts. If you want to build self trust you have to start making bold decisions even when you're scared.
Pick one area of your life where you've been waiting for permission whether it's starting a new habit a new boundary, making a new career move and take action on it today. Not tomorrow. Today. And here's the kicker. Don't apologize for it If someone doesn't agree with your decision, that's their problem.
If you mess up you learn from it and move on. And if it doesn't go as planned, You'll just adjust and try again.
When you make a choice and stand by it without explaining, justifying or apologizing, you are reinforcing the belief that you are in control of your life. That's how radical self trust is built. Here's a reality check. You're gonna mess up sometimes, and that's okay. The goal isn't perfection.
It's progress. And key point number three, the self trust ritual. A daily practice for unshakable confidence happens by doing something regularly. If you wanna wake up every day and feel unshakable in your confidence, you need to train your brain to trust you first before looking for outside validation. Radical self trust isn't about waking up one morning magically feeling empowered.
It's about building small, consistent habits that reinforce your ability to make decisions and own them. These three steps will help you rewire your brain for deep trust so that when you're making bold choices and standing firm in your boundaries, you'll feel confident moving forward in life and it will become your new normal.
Step one in the self trust ritual is a morning power mantra. I mentioned this before I do this absolutely every day.
Most people wake up and immediately flood their brains with self doubt before they even get out of bed. Uh I'm already behind. I hope I don't mess up today What if that thing I said yesterday sounded stupid? Stop. Right there.
If the first thoughts of your day are rooted in fear and doubt how do you think the rest of your day is gonna go? Instead take control of your mindset before your brain starts to spiral. Here's how. The moment you wake up before reaching for your phone, stand up tall, look in the mirror and say, I trust myself. I'm capable.
I make strong decisions. Say it with confidence, even if you don't fully believe it. Stand in your power, feet grounded shoulders back chin up Your physiology affects your psychology. And when you physically take up space, You train your brain to feel stronger. This might feel weird or awkward or stupid but guess what I don't care.
Confidence isn't about building comforts. It's about over time building an unsinkable starting day process that ends with you stopping questioning yourself and starting to feel capable and in control.
Step two is the five minute own your choices journal. I've been doing this for years and I call it my awesome journal. I know it sounds pompous but I need that to fuel my self confidence. Most people focus on what they did wrong rather than what they did right.
If you're constantly replaying mistakes and overanalyzing every decision, It's no wonder you don't trust yourself You're literally programming your brain to see only failures, but it's time to flip that script.
every night just take five minutes to write some things down. One thing you did well today, one decision you made without overthinking, and one fear you ignored and acted anyway. It could be as small as sending an email without second guessing it or as big as standing up for yourself. maybe you chose what to eat without consulting five people. Maybe you picked an outfit without doubting yourself.
The smallest choices add up. Did you speak up in a meeting even though you were nervous?
Did you say no to something that didn't serve you? Again, write down these things One thing you did well today, one decision you made without overthinking and one fear you ignored and acted anyway. This exercise reprograms your brain to help you recognize the moments of self trust instead of self doubt. Over time your brain will start scanning for proof that you are capable, decisive and strong.
And when you look for it you'll find it…
Here's a little hypnotherapy for some inner trust building. Your subconscious mind controls ninety percent of your thoughts and behaviors. So if you spent years doubting yourself, those beliefs are buried deep in your subconscious.
The fastest way to shift those beliefs is hypnotherapy and visualization.
Here's a simple but powerful self trust visualization that you can do every night before bed
If you're in a safe space and you can close your eyes safely you're not operating machinery or moving a vehicle, then close your eyes Take three deep breaths…
Inhale confidence…exhale doubt…
Inhale confidence….
Exhale doubt…
Now picture yourself standing on solid ground. The ground beneath you is strong and stable. It's representing your growing trust in yourself. And imagine a bright light growing in your chest. It's glowing and growing and glowing in your chest.
This light is your inner wisdom and self trust. With every breath of light grows stronger spreading throughout your body…
See yourself making decisions with ease and confidence…
Imagine yourself trusting your gut, taking action easily and feeling completely at peace with your choice…
Let's do that again…
This light is your inner wisdom self trust It grows and grows and spreads throughout your body, helping you make decisions with ease and confidence, trusting your gut, taking action and feeling completely at peace.
You could repeat this affirmation silently in your mind. I trust myself. I listen to my intuition and I make confident decisions…
You can open your eyes now and remember this. This is a simple exercise that rewires your subconscious brain to see yourself as capable and decisive
And when you do this consistently your actions will start matching your beliefs because you're training your mind to expect success and not doubt…
have shown that when you visualize something, you can actually make it happen. But if you don't visualize something it doesn't exist.
Here's a reality check. Self trust isn't a one time decision. It's a daily practice. The more you repeat these steps the more they become second nature and the more natural it feels to trust yourself fully.
So in conclusion for this episode on radical self trust if you take nothing else from this episode take this. Self trust is not something you're going to be born with It is something you build. It's a muscle that gets stronger every time you choose to trust yourself instead of looking for outside approval. Stop waiting for permission. Make bold decisions, even when you're scared.
Practice trusting yourself every day until it becomes second nature. And most importantly, get out of your own damn way…
Your next step pick one decision today that you will make without seeking validation from anyone else. Start small if you have to The goal is to build the habit..Tag me on social media at julia Bowlin, MD and tell me one bold move you're making today.
If this episode helped you share it with a friend who needs a reminder that they have already got all the answers within them…Want some more check out some past episodes on mindset medicine. There's many on mindset, confidence and personal growth Until next time be happy, be healthy and be fulfilled…
