…Hey listeners. Welcome back to mindset medicine with doctor Julia. Your no nonsense, unfiltered it in your face place to just hang and learn strategies on how to be happier healthier and more fulfilled at work and at home And today's episode is all about when the inside you just doesn't quite feel good enough. You know that nagging feeling that so many of us live with the belief that no matter what we accomplish it's still not enough. Sound familiar?
Maybe you're the one who's juggling everyone else's schedules crushing it at work keeping the house running and somehow still feel like you're falling behind. Or perhaps you're the person in the boardroom thinking. I'm one mistake away from everybody realizing I don't belong here. Yeah. That's imposter syndrome my friends and we're unpacking all of it today.
Together we're gonna dive into why we feel this way. How it's connected to overachieving, and more importantly, how can we break free from this? I'll also share some real life examples because let's face it We've all been there Give you three actionable steps to get started and introduce you to a free worksheet to help you uncover the triggers behind these tendencies. You're gonna wanna stick around for this one…
all too often the holidays are worse when it comes to these kinds of sensations. Too many things to do not enough time too many have tos need tos and shoulds. Maybe you have too many places to go or maybe too many places to go at the same time, and it just feels like a lose lose situation There's not enough time to be in one place and really be present with what you'd like to experience…or maybe you're going to some places out of feelings of guilt or obligation. If you've ever felt like no matter what you accomplish it's just not enough or like you're just one misstep from being found out what an inside mess you really feel like. You're not alone.
Today's episode is for the overachievers, the perfectionist, and my personal favorite nemesis, the imposter syndrome suffers. Yep We're going there. I've been there and because let's be honest we've all had moments when we feel like a fraud or feel. We'll just never quite measure up And even when we're juggling fifty seven flaming hoops like a circus pros we still feel that way. But here's the truth That little voice in your head whispering you're not enough.
It's lying. And today we're gonna unpack that lie break it down and start moving towards freedom. Stick around. I've got three actionable steps to help you ditch the hustle for perfection, embrace your flaws and find peace in simply being you. And at the end of this episode
I've got a simple freebie for you to help you identify what's triggering that over a achiever spiral. So stay tuned for that Let's dive in. So what is not enoughness?
Not enoughness is that knowing feeling inside that who you are what you do or what you've accomplished will never feel good enough. It's that emotional equivalent of looking at the never ending to do list and thinking, Gosh if I could just do more then I'd finally feel okay. Spoiler alert it doesn't work like that. Imagine you're a health care professional, a nurse let's say You're pulling twelve hour shifts running between patients charting after hours and still going home to take care of your family. On paper you look like a superhero.
But in your head you're replaying the one patient interaction where you think you might have said the wrong thing. Or you're thinking about the coworker who didn't even thank you for covering their shift. Suddenly all those wins, all those wins throughout the entire day just don't count because you've convinced yourself that one misstep means you're failing. Sound familiar? Not enoughness shows up everywhere, whether your mom wondering if you're spending enough time with your kids, a doctor doubting your clinical decisions, or a manager thinking if I don't prove myself every day I'll lose their respect.
But here's the truth. That voice inside of you telling you you're not enough, it is lying. So why do we feel that way? Where does this not enoughness come from Let's break that down. It comes from three things, conditioning…
imposter syndrome…
and comparison culture. Let's start with conditioning. Growing up maybe you heard things like if you only just work hard enough you can achieve anything. Well this is a well meaning sentiment but it creates this unspoken rule that if you're not achieving, you're not enough. Remember that gold star sticker system in school Yeah You remember that?
I was a go buster on that one We were conditioned early to tie our value our worth to our accomplishments. I had a client once. Her name was Sarah and she was a physician assistant. She crushed her certification exams. Was loved by your patients It was constantly praised by her colleagues.
But all she could think about was the one time she got feedback from a supervisor saying, Make sure your notes are more thorough they're not thorough enough. That one comment became an anchor for her inner narrative. I'm not detailed enough. I'm not good enough. Never mind that she was practically carrying her entire department on her back.
Sound familiar…
Imposter syndrome. Raise your digital hand if you've ever felt like your one mistake from being quote found out. Imposter syndrome is that sneaky little voice that says you're not as smart. You're not as talented. You're not as capable as people think you are.
Women in health care leadership and high pressure roles. This one loves to target you. Another client Megan she's a nurse manager shared how she constantly felt like a fraud She was balancing staffing shortage training new hires and stepping into leadership roles that no one else wanted. But instead of feeling accomplished, she worried somebody would realize that she wasn't experienced enough for her job. This despite the fact that her team repeatedly told her that she was one of the best leaders they ever had in years.
So not enoughness impostor syndrome comes also from comparison culture. And social media folks it's not helping. Why don't I have it all together like they do How come I don't look like that? Never mind that they're probably crying another coffee just like you in the mornings. Let's talk about scrolling through Instagram and LinkedIn, the ultimate highlight reels of other people's lives.
You see someone who's posting about their perfect family vacation, their flawless meal prep, or their promotion to a job that sounds way cooler than yours. And suddenly you feel like you're falling behind
maybe it's the colleague who always looks polished and never seems to miss a beat. While you're over here trying to remember if you even brushed your hair today. Or it's the friend who somehow runs marathons, leads PTA meetings and still manages to bake cupcakes for her kids' past parties. While you're over here wondering if frozen pizza counts as dinner, again. Comparison doesn't just whisper You're not enough It screams it And the worst part you're comparing your everyday chaos to someone else's curated moments.
I'm gonna say that again You're comparing your everyday chaos to someone else's curated moments. Nobody posts their messy kitchen their sleepless nights or the times they doubt themselves. So why are you holding yourself to a standard that doesn't even exist…
I would like to share three steps to ditch overachieving tendencies. So let's get to the good stuff. Here are three steps to start letting go of those overachieving tendencies that keep you stuck in the cycle of not enoughness…
Step number one, identify your triggers. Start by asking yourself, why do I feel the need to overachieve? Is it fear of judgment? Need of validation? Is there a belief that slowing down means failure?
Here's an example. Let's say you're a physician who's constantly staying late to finish every single chart to perfection. Why? Is it because you think that by one tiny mistake your entire career is at stake? Spoiler alert it's not.
Write down the situations where you feel this urge to do more, even though you're tapped out. Awareness is your first step. Step two. Set boundaries and define for you what enough means. You can't do everything and you don't need to.
Instead define what enough looks like for you in your daily life. What am I coaching clients A health care administrator felt like he had to be available twenty four seven for his team. His breakthrough moment came when he realized that he could set specific office hours for non urgent issues and still be an incredible leader. Enough for him wasn't being available twenty four seven for everybody. It was being present and effective during certain hours when they needed him but within the boundary that worked for him.
So only you can determine what enough means for you Because if you don't determine what enough means, other people are gonna determine what it means for you. And step three, challenge imposter syndrome with self compassion. Maybe the sneaky inner imposter voice is telling you you don't belong here. You just got lucky Someone's gonna figure out that you're a fraud. Sound familiar? First of all let's call that voice out for what it is Again, a liar. The next time it creeps in take a step back and ask yourself.
What evidence do I have to the contrary? Maybe you earned that promotion because you worked your tail off for it and that's what brought results, not because of a fluke. Maybe your patience, your team your clients value your skills compassion and wisdom, that you bring every day, not because you trick them into believing you're good enough. So write it down if you have to Every compliment, every success every moment of growth, create a book or a journal called the I am awesome journal. Folks I have been doing this for years because I have a really strong inner imposter.
And so sometimes when I'm just beating myself up that liar, I go to that book and I read all the things about the things that I have done things that make me feel accomplished. It's not because I have a big ego It's because I have a big inner imposter. And so I need to remind myself of my successes. I have success amnesia, and many women have that We forget how awesome we really are So I'm telling you go find a small binder or journal And if you can every day, write down ten things to celebrate why you're awesome. K It's your awesome journal.
You know, this is where the magic is This is where the flipping of the script happens. So instead of letting the voice drag you down you meet it with self compassion, and then you review the reasons why you really truly are awesome because let's face it. I know you have some things You can be truly feel awesome about yourself. You don't have to be perfect to deserve a spot in the room. Mistakes.
They're not proof that you're a failure They're proof that you're learning and growing that you're building new neurotransmitters. Progress matters more than perfection And you belong here not because you're flawless, but because of you your hardworking, capable, and valuable human being that you are have earned your place. So the next time impostor syndrome tries to steal your light, remind yourself. I have evidence. I'm enough.
Period…
I had a client who was promoted to a leadership role in her hospital. And she kept thinking I don't deserve this position. They just couldn't find anybody else. But when we impacted, truly impacted, we found that she'd been chosen because of her results driven work and her ability to mentor others. She wasn't lucky.
She was capable. So self compassion starts with recognizing the truth with a capital t, not what your inner lying imposter syndrome voice tells you. Self compassion starts with recognizing truth with a capital t.
Alright friends If this resonates with you I've got something to help you dig deeper I created a free complimentary worksheet called the overachiever detox. Identify your triggers in five minutes It's a simple practical guide designed to help you It'll help you uncover your situations, people or beliefs that fuel your overachieving tendencies. It'll help you reflect on why you push yourself so hard. And it'll help you start writing a new inner narrative that says, you are enough.
Start taking small actionable steps towards balance and self compassion. So here's what I want you to do next Download the free worksheet the overachiever detox, identify your triggers in five minutes. Share this episode with friends and colleagues who are stuck in the mindset of hustle, you never know who might else might need this and leave a review or tag me on social media with your biggest takeaways. I'd love to hear how you're stepping into your Enoughness…
Oh and here's the final thought Here's the deal You don't need to do more achieve more or spin those metaphorical plates like you're auditioning for the cirque du soleil You don't need to do that just to prove your worth. Your value isn't tied to how many roles you juggle, how clean your house is or how perfectly you crushed your last work presentation. Your value is in who you are right now. Messy bun mismatched stocks So let's stop aiming for perfect because new flash it doesn't exist, and start embracing the beautifully messy, wonderfully imperfect version of you. The one who tries, the one who learns, the one who laughs and maybe cries over burnt dinner now and then.
Life's too short to chase an illusion of perfection my friends. And Oh and one last thing Those plates you're spinning, if one drops, I promise the world won't end. It might just make a funny clatter and give you a great story to tell. Until next time, keep being your fabulous beautiful and imperfect self. And maybe A few less plates will wobble on purpose.
You've got this Until next episode be happy, be healthy and be fulfilled…
