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Dr. Julia Bowlin: [00:00:00] Strength isn't about being unbreakable, it's about being grounded enough to bend.
Welcome to Mindset Medicine. I'm Dr. Julia Bowlin, physician, author, and the founder of Personal Awareness Medicine, and this is the place where noise quiets down, the masks come off, and conversations finally make space for truth, humanity, and grounded strength. Blending clinical clarity with real lived experiences, mindset with meaning and just enough soul honesty to bring insight to where it's needed most.
Now, take one deep breath and allow this episode to meet life exactly where you are today. There are moments in medicine that stay with a person, not because they're dramatic or loud, but because they touch something quiet and steady inside the chest. A few days ago, I walked into [00:01:00] the hospice inpatient unit and saw a name on the census.
That instantly took me back to more than a decade. Years ago, I had been a physician who delivered the diagnosis. No one wants to hear progressive terminal dementia. The kind that slowly unravels memory, orientation, connection, the slow fading of life once fully lived. I hadn't treated him in years. But now at the end of this journey, our paths crossed again.
And when I stepped into the room, it was immediately clear. He was no longer aware of anything really truly happening around him. He is breathing was shallow, his eyes were half open, and there's this unmistakable way that you could tell that the signals of the body is loosening its tether to this earth.
The man I once examined and spoke with in full sentences. Was now in that mysterious liminal place between here and elsewhere. But his [00:02:00] wife, his constant companion, the person who had walked every mile of his road was sitting near his bedside, her hands wrapped in her lap, and she looked up when I entered and something shifted in her expression.
Not relief. Exactly. Not surprise. Something different than that. Deeper than that. When she reached for my hand and I sat next to her, she whispered, it felt like I was coming home when I saw you walk in. I had taken care of these people for over 20 years in the past, and I had shifted from my family practice medicine practice to being an Everhart Hospice medical director.
I had left thousands of patients in the beautiful and caring hands of other medical providers as I shifted my career. But as I'm shifting my career now into hospice and my past patients are coming into the inpatient unit for their end of their life journey, well, [00:03:00] special moments are happening. Those words by his wife landed softly, but carried so much weight with me.
The kind of weight that doesn't press down, but just settles in and sitting there holding her hand. The room felt both tender and grounded at the same time. There was no rush. There was no urgency, no performance, just presence. And in that presence, something inside me softened in a way that I didn't expect for decades.
I carried the belief that strength meant staying composed, staying ahead, staying efficient, especially in healthcare, but sitting beside this woman with her husband. Nearing the end of his life. It became so clear to me how much deeper strength runs when it's allowed. To be honest, this wasn't about fixing.
This wasn't about leading with answers. This was about [00:04:00] me showing up with a steady heart and open spirit and being part of a moment that called for humanity more than anything clinical. And when she said coming home, it had nothing to do with that building. It wasn't about the walls, the room, the bed. It was about familiarity, relationships, continuity, the comfort of seeing someone who'd been a part of their journey.
Long before the story became this hard and without forcing anything, the energy in the room changed. There was a softer breath, a shared stillness, a grounded awareness that this was sacred territory. It reminded me of something essential that strength doesn't always look like. It's standing really tall.
Keep in mind, I'm four foot nine and a half. I'm really not that tall anyway, but sometimes it looks like sitting quietly in the truth of what just is. Sometimes it [00:05:00] just looks like allowing tears without losing steadiness. Sometimes it looks like letting the heart open without collapsing under the weight of the moment.
Strength can be soft, it can be quiet. It can take the shape of presence rather than performance. And me in that room surrounded by years of history and a final chapter unfolding, it became clear that this kind of grounded being, this ability to bend emotionally without losing my center is one of the most powerful forms of strength that I've ever experienced.
So let's unpack that a little bit. What are the inner mechanics of how the mind and body find strength? Without hardening, without being hard, it's when moments like the ones at this bedside happen, the quieter, tender, profoundly human moments, that there's an immediate emotional shift. Underneath that [00:06:00] emotional experience, there's also something physiologic going on.
Something going on in this body, right? The brain, the body, the breath, the entire nervous system begins responding in ways that most people never think about. And this is where the deeper science of staying strong really lives. Not in your gritting your teeth moment or the pushing through moment, but in how the inner system learns to settle, center and hold shape even when life becomes ridiculously unpredictable.
We as human beings aren't designed to be rigid. Rigidity is actually a stress response. It's an attempt to embrace against an impact or an emotion or uncertainty, or even loss. It's the nervous system's version of Armor, useful and short bursts, but. Maybe over time it's very exhausting strength, the kind that lasts.
Live [00:07:00] in flexibility. It lives in the nervous system's ability to move between activation and calm, between tension and ease in between pressure and release. This ability, this adaptive rhythm, is what allows a person to remain steady without shutting down. From a physiological body perspective, it's the vagus nerve, the breath cycle, the balance between sympathetic activation and parasympathetic settling that created a grounded internal state.
When the systems work together, the body can stay present without being overwhelmed. The mind can process emotion without spiraling, and the spirit well. It can stay connected without feeling drained. Scientific researchers just call this adaptive regulation Spirituality. Well, many people experience this as an inner knowing that nothing needs to be forced.
It can just be allowed [00:08:00] emotionally. This kind of inner steadiness, it allows a person to feel deeply without becoming unmoored. There is such a time in my life that tears felt so unsafe, that feeling deeply meant danger. And in some cases tears for some people feel scary, but tears can come without signaling danger.
If our nervous system can be allowed to adaptively regulate, tenderness can come without feeling threatening. It can be a form of stability as well. Even grief can move through the body without flooding it. This is the emotional equivalent of standing in the middle of a river without being swept away Psychologically, this flexibility creates a lot of space for clarity.
People are able to make decisions without panicking. They can care for others without collapsing inward, and they can hold presence for something else, [00:09:00] someone else, without sacrificing their center. The mind becomes more spacious and less crowded, and thoughts become less jagged. Attention becomes more intentional, and strength becomes quieter, more grounded, not just in performance, but a way of being, of allowing spiritually.
This capacity often feels like just allowing life to move through us instead of resisting every part of it. Some describe it as grace. Some describe it as peace in the mind. Some simply call it presence, whatever language. The experience is the same and inner spaciousness that allows a person to witness what's happening without needing to tighten or control it, and the beautiful thing.
It's all learnable. It's not a personality trait or something reserved for special temperaments. It's a trained capacity, a practice, a [00:10:00] daily invitation to soften towards what's real instead of bracing against everything that feels so incredibly uncertain when the nervous system learns flexibility. The entire human experience changes.
People stop living in survival mode and start living in deeper alignment. One that can hold sorrow and connection, fear and clarity, grief and grace, all at once. I'm gonna tell you one moment I had, I was sitting in my front porch with my husband. I may have alluded to this before. It was an incredible day for me.
It was the first Monday I didn't have to go back to work to my medical practice. It was before I started my hospice practice, but after I finished my everyday medical office practice and I was sitting on the front porch with my husband, just reveling in the massive shift that I had done and being proud of myself from stepping into [00:11:00] that at the same time.
We were processing the day before my husband's cancer came back. So I had this incredible joy and relief, excitement and nervousness about my new career and my life moving forward while my husband and I were processing the loss and we were mourning all the things we were hoping to be able to live in the future.
This, you know, having that ability to stop living in survival and just being in alignment. Being able to hold that sorrow and that connection. My fear and motivation and grief and grace, that was just the weirdest experience for me. But it was the first time I think I'd ever been able to do it because I had some control over my nervous system.
I was able to adapt in the moment. This is the foundation for everything else we're going to explore in this episode. Because once the internal system understands how to stay rooted without [00:12:00] becoming rigid, everything external becomes more manageable. Conversations, caregiving, boundaries, decisions, emotional waves.
'cause they're coming, they all shift. When the inside of your body isn't clenched, isn't tight, isn't in overwhelm, isn't in survival mode. And that brings us to the next part of this episode, and that's how to intentionally build this inner steadiness through practices that are simple, accessible, and powerful enough to integrate into everyday life.
You ready?
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Dr. Julia Bowlin: This is through what I call the daily practices of steady strength, faith, trust, and transcendence. Now, don't be running away if you have a religious belief or even if you're being offended by these words. [00:14:00] Listen, these are going to be applicable to anybody no matter what religion, what belief system they have.
Because strength real, the real strength, the grounded kind, it comes from the series of subtle internal movements that happen throughout the day. It's not forged in the big dramatic breakthroughs or heroic bursts of effort. It takes shape and repeatable, quiet rituals that retrain the mind and the body and the spirit to stay open, to stay steady and connected without hardening.
This is where heart virtues come alive, not as abstract concepts, but as a lived inner rhythm and my deep heart virtues. These are the ones I'm sharing in this episode. These are the three movements of faith, trust, and transcendence, and they form an internal pathway. Each one prepares the system for the next.
Each one strengthens a [00:15:00] different part of our inner landscape, and each one helps a person bend with life rather than bracing against it. To make this rhythm tangible, I call this the triple ritual. It's a simple daily practice that honors each heart virtue at the time of a day. When the time of the day is the most naturally activated.
For example, mornings belong to faith. The release of control and the quiet. Remembering that growth unfolds in its own timeline. We don't have to force it. Faith in this framework. It's not passive or vague. It's a deliberate softening of the nervous system's instinct to try to control everything before the day even begins.
Faith in your heart and in your mind, says this in the morning. I don't need to think about and shape everything that's gonna happen today because life is going to unfold and growth is gonna happen without me trying to force it. It's the belief [00:16:00] that you know that you're going to be able to tackle the day because you have the resources to get through it.
This orientation shifts the system out of. What I call anticip, if I can say the word anticipatory strain and into receptivity. So instead of trying to predict stress and manage it before it happens, we now open up and allow the day to be received just as it's supposed to. Because the truth of it, we really can't control it.
We can guide it, but we're not gonna control our day. We can think we are, but things are gonna come up, I promise. This helps the mind greet the day with an openness rather than tension. It reconnects our whole inner landscape to the idea that meaning is already present. It doesn't have to be manufactured.
We don't have to create that. We can just allow it, and then midday, middle of the day really belongs more to the trust [00:17:00] virtue. This is the knowing that resources exist within and all around us when the challenges arrive. Trust is the active counterpart to faith. It's the moments during the day, often when pressures start to increase, where the system is reminded that it's not navigating anything alone.
Trust is more like this. When challenges appear, there's always something someone, somebody inside and or around me that can carry me through this step. In other words, you have everything and anything you need to succeed in the middle of the day and just trust. That you have that rather than trying to curate and manage it.
This awareness, this perspective, it brings in the thinking brain, but it reduces the emotional overwhelm it brings in a sense of spaciousness. It's trust is not about rescuing, it's about recognizing you have the resources already. Your internal wisdom, your relational supports, your [00:18:00] spiritual guidance, your intuitive clarity.
They're all standing by. Waiting to be acknowledged. Trust helps the system stay centered without tightening and being overwhelmed. I hope that makes sense because I really love that concept that faith is knowing in the morning that you don't have to control and contain everything. That is going to unfold.
Trust in the afternoon allows yourself to realize, don't try to tighten up, don't try to control it. You have the resources. They will be there. You can pour them out, and then night belongs to the transcendence. This is the general release that lets the day dissolve so your body and mind can repair.
Transcendence is the completion, the unwinding, the loosening of the day's weight. It says this day does not need to follow me into tomorrow. Transcendence allows a nervous system to drop, restoration to [00:19:00] restore. It allows emotions to settle in without being suppressed. It allows meaning to surface naturally instead of being forced.
It's not rising above the day. It's rising through the day so we can emerge clear, renewed, and ready to begin again. Because look out the cycle's gonna start again tomorrow. That's guaranteed. Well, it's not guaranteed 'cause life isn't guaranteed. But more than likely, if you wake up in the morning, it's gonna start all over again.
So together these heart virtues really create a daily cycle of steadiness that the nervous system can rely on. Faith opens the day with softness and acceptance. Trust supports the day with resources that we have in and around us, and transcendence closes the day with release. We move above all that. We went through the day.
This is the psychology of grounded strength, the physiology of [00:20:00] emotional flexibility and the spirituality of integration, and it prepares us for what comes next, applying this rhythm to real life pressure, caregiving and emotional complexity, and the unpredictable landscape of just being human. That was a lot.
I dumped a lot. I know I did, but you might be able to tell. I'm really passionate about this, this softening of our inner nervous system. The allowance of these heart, virtues of faith, trust, and transcendence to flow through our inner being can significantly reduce the hyper vigilance, the overreacting, the, the intense need to control our day.
And that's why I'm so passionate about that, because when we don't do that, disease can develop. And I don't want us to have dis-ease, heart attacks, strokes, ulcers, you know, worse cancer. Let's work on allowing some flow in our life. All right, let's bring this to a little bit of a coaching moment and [00:21:00] bring this triple ritual of faith, trust, and transcendence really into real life.
The triple faith, ritual, faith in the morning, trust throughout the day, and transcendence at night. Sounds simple when laid out on paper, and it is simple. But it isn't small. These are not surface level practices. They reach down into the deeper architecture of how a person moves through the world. And once we begin shaping our inner landscape, the outer landscape shifts as well.
And the real question then becomes, what does this look like in real life, in the messy hours, in the unexpected moments, in the responsibilities that pull us at all sides? In caregiving, in leadership in the middle of life's emotional heaviness. This is while the where the triple ritual really becomes more than a concept, it becomes a lived practice faith in real time, starting without gripping, mourning.
Faith [00:22:00] is not about affirmations or pep talks only. It's the first decision of the day to release control before that day even begins. And for many people, the morning is where they start tightening. It happens there first. The mind jumps ahead of the day. The body starts to tense, and we start to shorten our breath.
Faith interrupts that pattern. It looks like sitting on the edge of the bed and letting the shoulders drop before standing. It looks like a slow inhale. That signals to the body. Nope, we're not tightening up yet. We're not gripping up yet. It might look like a gentle reminder that the day does not need to be managed all at once, especially in the morning.
It might look like a willingness to let meaning unfold instead of you trying to create it. Faith is the difference between entering the day clenched and entering the day open. Midday is the most challenging [00:23:00] stretch of the human rhythm. This is where fatigue and pressure and emotional complexity really peak oftentimes in the middle of the afternoon, and trust becomes that anchor point in this stretch, not forced calm, just the recognition that you have resources, trust, and real life looks like pausing before reacting to a stressful moment, taking a slow breath before answering a question.
Looking inward for wisdom. Instead of asking outwardly for somebody to rescue you, it might look like allowing support to show up in unexpected ways. Letting the body reorient before the mind decides to do what's next. Listening, checking in with the body, and maybe even just asking the simple inward question, what resources available to me right now?
This question is powerful because it turns the nervous system from bracing to noticing and noticing creates [00:24:00] options and options create steadiness. Let's move on to transcendence in real time. Releasing the day's weight. Evening transcendence is the least glamorous because, well, it's the most essential part of the cycle.
Without it, the emotional residue of every day will carry into the next, and the system will slowly become overloaded. Transcendence is the gentle unwinding that lets the day dissolve. It looks like a quiet moment in the car before walking into the house. A gentle smile and excitement before opening the door to go home.
It might look like a breath lengthening before dinner or bedtime routines. It might be acknowledging the weight being carried without judgment or releasing the parts of the day that weren't meant to be solved. Just let 'em go. It might look like letting the mind soften enough just for spirit to rise above [00:25:00] all the chaos of the noise in your head, because transcendence is the practice of not dragging today and tomorrow.
It's one of the things you can do to internally reset to create space for healing and clarity and rest. Evening transcendence is the most essential part of this cycle. We don't wanna carry the residue of yesterday into tomorrow. Alright. Together the triple ritual becomes embodied strength. When faith softens the morning trust studies the day and transcendence clears the night.
This is where a person can become internally supported in a way that doesn't rely on perfection force or emotional shutdown. This is the foundation for meeting life with flexibility instead of rigidity. This is what allows people to show up in moments like by hospital bedside story, not hardened, not detached, not overwhelmed, but fully [00:26:00] present and internally anchored.
And that internal anchoring sets the stage for the next part of my episode. This is the part where the subconscious is going to be invited to learn this rhythm too. This is how your strength can become not just practice, but really part of who you can become a part of who a person is. This is an expanded sensory and somatic grounding exercise.
It's a centering activation for inner steadiness. Before stepping into this moment, this is a simple reminder. This isn't about going deep or drifting really far. This is a simple invitation to let your nervous system remember something. It's already known and always known how to settle, how to soften, how to return to the quiet, steady place inside that doesn't shake when life gets hard.
If it feels comfortable, just let your body settle into whatever is supporting you right now. It might be your chair, your bed, the couch, the car seat. Just [00:27:00] notice the way that the surface is holding your weight without asking anything in return. That simple support is a nice little anchor, just letting your breath lengthen, just touching in on exhale.
As your body is sighing, try without thinking. Don't just think about it. There's no pressure, no performance here. Just feel your breath softening
the breath, softening all the rough edges as the breath is settling. Just bring awareness to the temperature around your body. Maybe the air feels cool against your skin, maybe a little warmth. This gathering around your hands or behind your back, maybe the contrast between the still air and the fabric you feel on your skin offers its own quiet comfort.[00:28:00]
Let the skin register that temperature. No judging, just letting awareness land here.
Now imagine gently without effort, a warm, steady light about the size of a small stone glowing in the center of your chest. It's not bright, it's not forceful. It's just warm enough to feel like a soft ember resting in your heart space. Pick the warmth of that ember spreading with each exhale. A little into the rib cage, a little into the shoulders, a little into the throat and jaw relaxing the muscles around your throat, around your jaw.
Relaxing the little muscles around your eyes. If the [00:29:00] mind wants a grounding sensation, imagine that warmth pressing ever so slightly outward from the center of the body, as if the body can lean into it from the inside. Now feel the weight of the body, the way gravity holds the legs, the way the seat supports the back.
The way the feet connect with the floor or the surface beneath them. That down and in sensation reminding the inner system that we have that is safe to be held.
And from this grounded space, these heart virtues begin to move. Faith comes first. Not as belief, but as temperature. A warm loosening in the chest of shoulders, a soft [00:30:00] letting go, sensation in the belly. The recognition that control can ease because the ground is still under the body, even when the mind releases its grip.
Faith feels like a settling into the warm sand or letting the body sink a half inch deeper into our chair, trusting that nothing will give way.
Then trust rises. Not as a thought, but as a subtle orientation, a sense of gentle support behind the body. A faint upward pole from above, a widening around the ribs as if the breath suddenly has more room. Trust is the awareness that resources exist inside [00:31:00] around beyond, and the body doesn't have to prepare for impact.
Finally, transcendence arrives not as an escape, but as a lightness. A slight cooling around the edges of the body, the forehead, the shoulders, the fingertips. A soft sense that the day's noise has stepped back. It's not gone just farther away as if something inside has risen a few inches above all the clatter.
Let this movement, faith, trust, and transcendence feel like temperature shifts, light shifts, weight shifts. Warmth. Expanding through the center, support beneath and behind the body, [00:32:00] coolness at the edges, a space where tension used to be and let that inner spaciousness linger for a breath or two, maybe longer.
And when the next inhale arrives, just let it gently call awareness back outward, not all at once. Just enough to return to this conversation with a little more steadiness, a little more space than a few moments ago. More room. Slowly being aware of your fingers, your hands, deepening your breath. Let's take a nice deep breath, stretch a little bit, and slowly, when you're ready, come back to this room.
Maybe open your [00:33:00] eyes, feeling refreshed and oriented and aware.
What this teaches us about staying steady through life's hardest moments is that activation can settle the body and the body can reorient. There's always a moment. That we can pull in a state of quiet clarity. It's a kind of internal recalibration where our mind, our heart, our nervous system line up just a little more than they did before.
This is a space where meaning can land into our heart and our minds, not just intellectually, not just academically, but in the deeper place where a lived experience actually transforms how we move through the world. This is where. The story from the hospice room returns. It wasn't emotional heavy scene, but it was an example of what it looks like to live with a steady center, even when the moment was [00:34:00] tender, sacred, and there were a lot of high stakes in that moment, sitting beside this woman, my past patient, while her husband is passing, was not a display of strength on my part.
It was an experience of it. I felt so profoundly. Quiet, not loud, not a stoic kind that like people celebrate, but it was a grounded kind that came from inside the kind that built step by step through my faith, trust and transcendence. Faith allowed the grip to soften before I walked into the room. It created enough internal space so that the moment didn't feel like something I had to brace against or prepare for.
It made it possible for me to be fully present without trying to fix or manage what was unfolding naturally. And trust reminded my system that there were resources all around me, emotional, spiritual, relational, and that stepping into this room didn't have to be done alone. [00:35:00] Trust made room for connection.
It made room for that wife's words to land without being overwhelmed. It made room for tears to fall without collapsing and for compassion to be present without feeling depleted and transcendence. That was the part that carried the moment forward. It made it possible for me to leave the room with softness instead of carrying a residue throughout the day.
It allowed the weight of the encounter to settle into the meaning rather than being an emotional burden for me, and it turned that experience into something that could be held, not carried. So I hope kinda walking through faith, trust and transcendence that these three moments don't erase pain. We know they don't.
They just make difficult moments easier. What they do shape though is how we meet our life in our moments. And that matters [00:36:00] because life's not a straight line, and medicine is not a clean journey. Relationships are not predictable, and caregiving is not tidy. And emotions do not ask for permission before they show up and rise.
What we cultivate internally is what determines whether we meet life hardened, braced, or brittle, or steady, open and capable of bending without losing our shape. This is the heart of this episode. Strength isn't about being unbreakable. It's about being grounded enough to bend, not about never wavering.
It's about returning to center again and again even when the world feels unsteady. The moment in that room, the look on her face that patient's wife's face, who was also my patient, the warmth of her hand, the honesty of her words, was a reminder that steady presence often means far more perfect [00:37:00] than composure.
People don't need performers, folks, they need humans who can be with them without collapsing or disappearing or suppressing. Strength. The real kind is simply this. A person who can stay open in places where most people shut down. A person who can remain present, where life feels tender, and a person who can remember that groundedness is not a trait, it's practice.
And now that the foundation has been laid, this episode moves into its final movement, the closing integration. And this is where we are gonna wrap this conversation up. Reorient the heart and prepare for the next chapter of November's theme. Fall down. Get up, rise higher. So as this episode settles, there's always a moment when the body and the mind begin to recalibrate.
Not because anything was fixed or solved, but because something [00:38:00] inside might have been acknowledged. Something may have softened, something may have realigned in a way that's quiet, but unmistakable. This conversation wasn't about endurance or grid, it wasn't about powering through. It wasn't about pretending life.
Is light when it isn't. It was about meeting life with a steadier heart, a more flexible inner landscape, a deeper understanding of how strength grows from the inside out. The story in the hospice room, the gentle handhold, the quiet tears, the honesty of the wife's words is a reminder that real Sta strength is not rigid.
It's never rigid. It's spacious. It bends. It makes room for emotion without drowning in it. It makes room for humanity without losing the ability to lead, and it continues to evolve as our lives unfold. The heart virtues, faith, trust, and transcendence aren't ideas to memorize. They're daily movements [00:39:00] that shape how a person experiences the world.
Faith softens the day, so life doesn't have to be held in a clenched fist. Trusts steadies the middle, so challenges don't become collapse points. Transcendence clears the end of the day so the soul can rest and begin again. Together, they form a rhythm, a cycle, a quiet internal scaffolding that supports steady presence in the places where life grows tender.
And that is the through line of this November series. Fall down, get up, rise higher. This is not a slogan, but as a lived breathing process. As always, thank you for walking through this conversation with me. Thank you for bringing your heart into it. Whatever shape may have arrived today, and thank you for being a part of a community that doesn't shy away from the hard parts of being human.
Take one last gentle breath in and an [00:40:00] even slower breath out. And until next time, may you be happy. Be healthy and be fulfilled.
Outro: Thank you for listening to Mindset Medicine with your host, Dr. Julia Bowlin. To learn more about mindset medicine, go to www.juliabowlinmd.com and connect with Dr. Julia to find out how our team can help you today. Join us again next week for more expert tips, tools, and strategies to become healthier, wealthier, and wiser in your personal and professional life.
