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Dr. Julia Bowlin: [00:00:00] Letting go feels scary, like you're losing a part of yourself, but it's actually the only way to survive and grow into the next season of your life.
I'm Dr. Julia Bowlin and physician, author Hypnotherapist and the founder of Personal Awareness Medicine. And you are listening to the Mindset Medicine Show. Today's episode is called The Death of Old Habits, A Season of Release, and this is part of my series for this entire October on Unapologetic Living.
Today we're gonna dive into something really powerful. Why this time of year, the fall season is the perfect symbolic momentum to finally shed the behaviors and the belief that might be holding you back. Think of this episode like your Autumn Reset. Just like trees outside your window aren't clinging desperately to last season's leaves.
You don't wanna be kept clinging to patterns that are exhausting you, distracting you, or even keeping you small. This is the medicine of mindset, [00:01:00] knowing when to let go and before you roll your eyes and think, Julia, easier said than done. I'll say this. I get it. I've been there. I've clung to beliefs about who I was supposed to be, and I've held onto coping strategies long past their expiration date, and it wasn't pretty.
When I finally let them go, it really wasn't pretty. But that messy release was the beginning of every major transformation I have had, and today I want to show you how it can be for you too. Here's what we're gonna cover today. Why fall is the perfect season to release what no longer serves you? How to give yourself permission to fall apart without shame, the missing ingredient, which is grace when you're under intense stress.
And of course, I'll walk you through two hypnotherapy techniques that you can use right now to create release in your body and your subconscious. Stick with me because by the end of this episode, you're going to have mindset tools, the permission slip, and the [00:02:00] subconscious rewiring you need to finally let go of, which has been dragging you behind.
So. Here's the thing about fall. It's not just pumpkin spice and cozy sweaters. I love cozy sweaters. I'm not a fan of pumpkin spice, but a lot of people are Biologically though, it's a season of transition, trees stop producing chlorophyll leaves lose their green, and finally the fiery oranges and reds beneath come out and then they let it go.
Not because they want to, but because they have to. Why? Because holding on would literally kill them. If a tree tried to keep all its leaves through the winter, the weight of the ice and snow would break the branches. Dropping the leaves isn't optional. It's survival, and our lives work the same way. When we clinging to old habits, outdated rules, or even beliefs that don't service anymore, it weighs us down.
We think we're staying safe, but in reality, we're putting ourselves at risk of [00:03:00] breaking under pressure. Let me make this personal. I used to clinging hard to the role of fixer as a physician, a mom, a wife. I thought my job was to carry everyone else's pain, manage everyone else's chaos, and never show cracks in my own armor.
For a long time, it looked like strength. I thought it was being strong, but inside I was exhausted. My nervous system was shot, and my body started showing it through anxiety, sleepless nights, and even physical illness. My blood pressure went up. I had gastritis, I had recurrent headaches. I started getting an autoimmune disease, and here's the thing.
The turning point was realizing this just like a tree, I couldn't carry the weight of everything and still thrive. I had to let go of old coping strategies, people pleasing perfectionism, rescuing others so I could create space. What actually sustained me, that's the paradox. Letting go feels scary. You're losing a [00:04:00] part of yourself, but it's actually the only way to survive and grow into the next season of your life.
So when I talk about the death of old habits, I'm not talking about weakness here. I'm talking about wisdom. Nature is modeling for us what's necessary. Release is survival. Release is strength. Release is growth.
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Break the cycle of overwhelm in minutes. Set boundaries that stick without guilt and turn stress into focus and action. This isn't about theory, it's about real transformation, and the best part [00:05:00] is each episode of this podcast comes with a worksheet designed specifically for what you're learning today.
Dr. Julia Bowlin: No more wondering how to apply this. It's all mapped out for you. And if you're ready to stop spitting your wheels and start making real shifts, grab today's worksheet below because life's too short to stay stuck. Check out the episode specific worksheet in today's podcast. Show notes below the link is right there for you.
So how do we go about letting go and giving ourselves the permission to fall apart and most of all, give ourselves grace. Let's talk about what this actually looks like in real life, because I know letting go can sound like one of those bumper sticker phrases. It's easy to say, but maybe impossible to live.
Here's the reality. Letting go is messy. Nature makes it look beautiful. Red leaves against crisp skies, but the truth is fall is chaotic. Branches are strip bare, the ground is littered. [00:06:00] Wind scatters everything. It is not tidy and it's not supposed to be. Neither is your release. Dropping old habits, beliefs, or coping strategies doesn't look like peaceful yoga at a retreat with essential oils and music.
It looks like crying in your car between appointments. It looks like snapping at your family when you're maxed out. It looks like eating a bag of Halloween candy and then beating yourself up for it. But listen carefully. That doesn't mean that something's wrong or even wrong with you. It might just be a season of release, and here's the reframe that could change everything.
You have permission to fall apart. Cracking open isn't a weakness. It's evidence that the old shell no longer fits the unraveling. That's the clearing. It's your subconscious saying This chapter is closing, so it's time to make room. Now, here's the thing that [00:07:00] most of us forget, and this is grace. Falling apart doesn't mean you fail.
It means you are human and you're under intense stress. And grace is the missing ingredient that keeps the release from turning into self punishment. Grace is the voice that says, I'm doing the best I can with the energy that I have today. And that's enough. And I'm gonna tell you folks during this journey with my husband, little over three years with cancer.
I can tell you what, I have had to give myself grace over and over again in my thoughts, in my behavior, in my work, and just realize, you know what? I am a human being, living a human life, and I'm a human living. And that means that things are gonna get messy. So let's think back to the tree. It doesn't apologize for being bare in November.
It doesn't compare itself to the oak tree down the street. It knows that it's part of the cycle. You too are allowed to have bare branches and have seasons like that [00:08:00] without apology. So here's a potential practice you can use the next time you feel like you're unraveling. Don't ask, how do I hold it all together?
What do I need to hold together? Instead, ask what needs to break so that you could finally breathe again, and then go write that in a journal. And let me tell you why this matters. Neuroscience shows that our brains are wired to chase completion. When something feels unfinished, an emotion we've stuffed down, a decision we've avoided, or a task we've left dangling.
Our brain loops in on it over and over and over, and it's called the XI effect. It's a loop that keeps mental tension alive until we release it. Naming what needs to break gives the brain closure. It reduces stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, and it literally creates space in your nervous system.
I'm gonna say this again. This is important [00:09:00] stuff. Our brains are wired. Chi chase completion. If something's uncompleted or unfinished, we are going to be left dangling and continue this mental loop until we actually release it. So here's how I practice this myself. When I'm under intense stress, hospice calls are stacking up.
Family needs are pulling on me, or the weight of walking with my husband's cancer journey is just weighing too heavy. I sometimes hit that place where everything feels absolutely too much. My old habit was to grit my teeth, and I've already told you I've had really bad teeth. I've broken them to pieces, and I would've kept going and kept pushing.
But what do I do now? I give myself a 15 minute timer. I tell myself, Julia, you have 15 minutes to fall apart. I cry. I journal, I stomp, I get pissy. I might cuss. I might put on rock music and beat some stuff in my supernatural workout, whatever my [00:10:00] body needs. And when that timer goes off, I don't feel fixed.
I can tell you that. But I do feel lighter. I've honored the break in my body instead of suppressing it. I've sat out at nighttime on my front. Driveway under the moon and bald like a baby. That doesn't make me weak. I was releasing and because all these needs have a container, we don't have to get lost in it because we can let it go.
That practice retrains the brain. It tells your subconscious I can release things in doses and still function. It's nervous system regulation. It's allowing the brake without drowning from it. Over time, your brain learns that falling apart isn't dangerous. It is actually a reset. So here's your assignment.
Next time overwhelm hits. Don't fight it. Grab a timer, set it for 15 minutes, and give yourself full permission to really feel when it dings. Take a deep breath. [00:11:00] Thank yourself for honoring the release. Step back into your day with more space, more grace, and less pressure. So how about we do a little safety and let it go exercise?
This is a little bit of compassion and a little bit of self-suggestion. So I want you to just soften your body, relax a little bit, take a nice deep breath, sit up nice and tall if you're slouchy, and let's just kind of breathe in into a relaxed state.
And I want you to say these words after me. You can say 'em silently or out loud. I give myself permission to be imperfect. I give myself grace to grow at my own pace. I am safe even when I'm stressed. Picture these words wrapped around you like a warm blanket. This gently rewires your stress response. [00:12:00] So compassion, not criticism.
Becomes your default. This is the real death of old habits. Not just quitting behaviors, but releasing this shame around them. Not just dropping the mask, but by giving yourself grace. When the messy raw truth shows up, that's where freedom lives. So let's land this in your everyday life because it's one thing to not along during a podcast, and it's another thing to actually embody and do the work when stress actually hits.
So how do you integrate, release permission, and grace into your daily rhythm? Will you build many release rituals? Many habits, habits are built through repetition, not one time events. So create small, intentionally released episodes. These are rituals that could look like taking a walk and deliberately imagining you're dropping one leaf of stress every step.
It might be writing down a belief that you're done with. On a scrap of paper and burning it, it might be saying out [00:13:00] loud before bed, I release what isn't mine to carry into tomorrow. Micro rituals tell your brain letting go isn't catastrophic. It's safe, it's normal, and it's repeatable. And our brains love cues.
So put some anchors in your environment, A sticky note on your desk with a word that says release. A chalkboard that says surrender and grace, maybe carry a smooth stone in your pocket and use it as a tactile reminder to drop what doesn't serve you anymore. These small environmental triggers really help the subconscious to practice release and real time.
Now let's do a 15 minute reset. We talked about my personal timer practice, and I want you to adopt your own version. It doesn't have to be tears or journaling. Maybe it's blasting one song in your car and just letting it all out. Maybe it's taking 15 minutes to sit in silence. The container matters less [00:14:00] than the fact that you're giving yourself permission.
That 15 minutes of grace can keep you from unraveling for 15 hours, one 15 minute chunk. Release can keep you from unraveling for 15 hours. That's crazy. So how about we replace it with something new? Here's the trap though. If you drop a habit without replacing it, your brain will fill the void with the same old habit before.
So don't just ask yourself, what do I need to let go of ask? What do I want to welcome into my life instead? Do you wanna release people pleasing and replace it with a boundary that you're gonna honor this week? Do you wanna release perfectionism and replace it with done is better than perfect? Do you wanna release overworking and replace it with one non-negotiable rest practice?
You see, releasing isn't an ending, it's a swap. [00:15:00] You're trading what depletes you for what fuels you, and that is really important. When you integrate these practices, you're not just dropping a bad habit, you're retraining your brain and your body to see release as safe, falling apart as normal, and grace is power.
That combination is how you actually step into your next season without carrying the dead weight from the last one. Now, let me give you one more real life example of integration because even with all the tools, training and the mindset work, I still hit a wall. There are days when hospice charts coaching clients caregiving collide, and my brain is like a running up on a dial up.
It's a mess, and that's when I go horizontal. Literally, I stretch out on the couch, the floor, or on my bed. I put my noise canceling headphones in and they open my binaural beats app. I go 20 to 25 minutes and that's it. The tones [00:16:00] create a gentle frequency balance that helps to synchronize the left and the right hemispheres of the brain.
Something research shows that can lower cortisol, stabilize your heart rate and promote restorative alpha theta states. In other words, it's a reset for your mind and your body. So during those minutes, I'm not doing anything I'm allowing. I am a human being in the moment. My nervous system gets a reboot.
My mental chatter quiets and my energy recalibrates. I rise calmer, clearer, and more focused. Proof that release doesn't always have to be dramatic. Sometimes it's as simple as lying still and letting the frequency of peace do the work. So maybe for you, it's not the binaural Beats app. Maybe it's stretching a nap, sitting in silence with your dog.
The point is this, build moments that let your body catch up with your soul. That is grace in motion. You do not have to earn the right to rest. You just have to remember [00:17:00] that letting go falling apart and giving yourself grace are not detours. They're directions towards renewal. All right, my friends.
That's our journey here through the death of Old Habits, a season of release. I've talked about letting go the messy beauty of falling apart and how to infuse it all with grace. You now have the tools, the 15 minute timer, the release breaths, the compassionate self-suggestion, and even the micro rituals and brain reset moments.
These will help carry you into the next season, lighter and freer. Remember, nature doesn't rush transformation and neither should you. Next week we're opening the kitchen door to something a little spookier. This episode is called Skeletons. In the Kitchen, we're gonna talk about the hidden emotional patterns that haunt our cravings, our comfort foods, and our coping mechanisms, and how to finally invite those skeletons to dinner, face them with compassion, and stop letting them run the menu of your life.
Until then, download this week's episode's [00:18:00] worksheet to help you identify what needs releasing in your own season of life. It's linked in the show notes, and if today's message spoke to you, share it with someone who's ready to stop clinging to what's no longer serving them. Every share helps me reach my goal of a hundred people in a hundred days.
You can connect with me on all the social media platforms and remember, be happy. Be healthy and be fulfilled.
Outro: Thank you for listening to Mindset Medicine with your host, Dr. Julia Bowlin. To learn more about mindset medicine, go to www.juliabowlinmd.com and connect with Dr. Julia to find out how our team can help you today. Join us again next week for more expert tips, tools, and strategies to become healthier, wealthier, and wiser in your personal and professional [00:19:00] life.
