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[00:00:00] Dr. Julia Bowlin: You don't have to see the whole bridge. Just take the next step and life will meet you there.
[00:00:13] Take one deep breath and let this episode meet you where you are, not where you should be, not where someone else expects you to be. Just here in this moment, breathing whole enough human enough. Welcome back to the Mindset Medicine Show. I'm Dr. Julia Bowlin, and if you listen to last week's episode, bruised Not Broken.
[00:00:33] You know, we talked about faith. Faith is what helps you stand back up after we fall. But this week, this week is about something even trickier trust, because once you stand back up, you realize the ground beneath you doesn't feel the same anymore. You survived the storm. But rebuilding, that's a different kind of courage.
[00:00:55] If my voice sounds a little scratchy today, well, it's because life has been handing me [00:01:00] its own version of a trust test between caregiving hospice calls and the reality of living with someone you love who's facing a chronic illness. My body decided to tap out for a minute. That's just a little cold, a little fatigue, A big reminder that sometimes our systems demand that we slow down.
[00:01:17] So here I am showing up a little raspy. And real trusting that maybe that's exactly how this episode is meant to sound. Now, this is one thing that's personal because when me being a physician, a healer, and a caregiver, I'm trained to fix, I'm trained to do something. But what happens when fixing isn't possible, when the one you love doesn't choose the path that you choose when all your knowledge, experience, and willpower can't make them better?
[00:01:50] Or even make life fair. That's the crack where trust starts to grow. Not blind, optimism, not spiritual, bypassing [00:02:00] real gritty. Trust the kind that shakes you down to the studs and rebuilds you with better wiring. So today we're talking about the comeback code, how to rebuild when the storm tries to steal.
[00:02:13] We'll walk through why your brain resists rebuilding, and how to rewire your identity through trust. I'll also guide you through a beautiful bridge of trust visualization to help you move from control to calm, from gripping to grace. Let's step into this one. Together, you've weathered the storm. Now it's time to rebuild your house on solid ground.
[00:02:37] You know, I used to think storms were things that happened to us. Now I realize, well, sometimes the real storm is what happens inside us when life doesn't go the way that we think it should. For me, the storm came in waves, my husband's cancer and uncertainty about a new career. His treatments, the side effects of all of that, the hospital rooms, [00:03:00] everything just started to smell like antiseptic and fear in my household.
[00:03:03] Here's the truth that I'm not proud of. I still kept trying to fix it, not because I didn't trust him, because I didn't trust life. As a physician, I'm trained to control variables. I gather data, I form a plan. I do the work, I get results. But illness doesn't play by those rules and neither does love. So here I was exhausted, angry, scared, and quietly resentful that he didn't want to do the things my way.
[00:03:32] I wanted green smoothies, acupuncture and energetic resets. He wanted rest. And to watch his TV shows, I wanted integrative healing options. He went in simply to survive. And in my mind, I thought if he just do what I know that works, he'd be okay. But that was not my assignment. One night sitting in our bedroom watching him sleep, it hit me [00:04:00] like a lightning bolt.
[00:04:02] You're not supposed to control the healing. You're not here to control the healing. You're here to hold space. And that cracked something open in me because it wasn't just about him, it was about me, about how I'd been gripping life so tightly that I'd forgotten how to let life hold me. That moment began what I now call my year of surrender.
[00:04:28] Every single morning I repeated the same mantra before my feet hit the floor. Surrender and release. Surrender and release. Sometimes I'd whisper it through tears. Sometimes I'd say it out loud just to convince myself that I mean it. But day after day, I kept choosing to release control. Control of timing, control of outcomes, control of what healing should look like.
[00:04:55] And the strangest thing happened the more I released the lighter. I [00:05:00] felt like carrying a backpack for years and suddenly realizing I could just take it off. Just put it down. Freedom didn't come from fixing. It came from flow. It came from trusting that life has an intelligence and I don't always need to manage it.
[00:05:17] That surrender mantra became my medicine and what a powerful emotional release it brought me. Because when I stopped fighting life and when you stopped fighting life, we can finally feel like it's supporting us. That's the essence of trust. It isn't passive. It's powerful, and it's deep. Exhale says, I don't have to hold all this stuff together all by myself anymore.
[00:05:49] If you ever stood in that place where you've done everything you can and the outcome still isn't yours to decide, you know, that's truth. That's where trust begins to grow. [00:06:00] Not in certainty, not in control, but in release. And here's where it gets fascinating. The release you just felt is not only emotional, it's biological, your brain, your identity, your energy systems literally start to rebuild through the act of trust, and let's talk about that next.
[00:06:22] I've mentioned in past episodes about neuroplasticity. So when I started repeating that mantra, surrender and release, I didn't realize I was actually rewiring my brain. That's exactly what was happening. You see, every time we choose trust over control, we're creating new neural pathways. It's called neuroplasticity.
[00:06:45] Our brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new connections, and it's not just some feel good theory. This is literal biology folks, when you live in a control mode, scanning, fixing, anticipating, bracing. [00:07:00] Your brain floods your body with cortisol and adrenaline. I've mentioned this over and over again.
[00:07:06] That's survival wiring. It's very useful in emergencies, but toxic. When it becomes our default setting, it keeps our body tense, our thoughts racing, and our creativity gets hijacked by fear. But when we choose trust, even in micro moments. Something radical happens. Our nervous system shifts from fight or flight into rest and rebuild.
[00:07:31] Oxytocin and dopamine start flowing. Our frontal lobe, the center for focus and decision making. Reactivates and our body finally whispers. We're safe enough to heal now. Trust literally turns into our repair system. It's an antidote to control, not because control's bad, but because control is exhausting.
[00:07:55] And many times we use our willpower for that control, and that is a [00:08:00] self-limited resource. Folks, we can't willpower our way through life. When we trust, we hand the reins back to our higher intelligence, our spirit, our body, our intuition, our source, whatever we wanna name it. And that's when the rebuilding begins.
[00:08:18] Think about it after a major storm, nature doesn't rebuild through panic or planning. It rebuilds through a rhythm, one seedling at a time, one drop of rain, one ray of light. No committee meetings, no spreadsheets. Just trust. We are built the same way. Every micro choice we let go to breathe to soften those seedlings of our comeback.
[00:08:45] That's how our brain learns safety again, that's how our energetic system finds alignment again. So if we've been living in the land of hyper hypervigilance, always super aware waiting for the next shoe to drop. [00:09:00] This is now our invitation to interrupt that pattern because rebuilding isn't about control.
[00:09:06] It's about collaboration with life. And look, I get it. My inner control freak still likes to think she's running the show. She shows up with her color coded calendar and my journal and my incredible spreadsheets on Excel, I've got this right. That's my control freak. But trust has taught me that sometimes the best plan.
[00:09:29] Is no plan. This is where the mindset becomes medicine. Every time we choose trust in ourself, timing the process, our brain rewires, our heart reopens, and our energy recalibrates. We stop surviving and start creating. That my friends, is the comeback code, rebuilding from the inside out. One neural connection, one act of surrender, one breath of trust at a time.[00:10:00]
[00:10:00] In the next section, I'm gonna look at why our nervous system confuses control with safety and how to stop breaking that loop. I call this the control trap while fixing blocks flow. Let's talk about control, not the, I like my spice rack alphabetized. That, that kind of control, I mean the deeper survival level kind, the one that whispers, if I can just manage it all, maybe I won't get hurt again.
[00:10:28] That folks is the control trap. It's sneaky. It disguises itself as responsibility, as loyalty, as love. It looks like caring, but underneath it's fear, wearing a lab coat. Control is the brain's attempt to create safety and chaos. It's a survival reflex. And if you're someone who's experienced trauma, uncertainty, or loss, you're probably learned very early that control equals protection.
[00:10:58] And that's why letting go [00:11:00] feels so unsafe at first. Our nervous system thinks that surrender means danger, but here's the truth. Fixing everything isn't the same as helping. Sometimes it's actually interference. Sometimes it's a form of spiritual micromanagement. And if you've been telling life itself,
[00:11:19] step aside, I've got this, let's be honest, how's that been working out for all of us?
[00:11:26] I'm gonna say that again.
[00:11:29] Fixing isn't the same as helping. It's interference, and sometimes it's a form of spiritual micromanagement. And if
[00:11:36] you've been telling life itself, step aside, I've got this. That's not gonna work for long term. That's willpower, that's
[00:11:46] control. So for me, control looked noble. I called it caregiving.
[00:11:51] I called it leadership. I called it being a good doctor, a good wife, a good mom. But underneath it was just me trying to protect everyone, including myself [00:12:00] from feeling powerless again. So when we over-function, we disconnect from flow. We override intuition, our creativity, and we close the door on divine timing and then wonder why everything else feels like pushing a boulder uphill all the time.
[00:12:19] So here's the reframe that I had to learn the hard way control doesn't create safety. Presence does. When I stay present, even in discomfort, my nervous system stays open, my breath steady, my brain integrates new information. But when I grip, plan, predict and preempt, I lock my body into a loop that says you're never safe enough to rest.
[00:12:44] And I'm gonna tell you, it used to be that way. I would come home from work, exhausted post-call, have children, dinner, household to run. There was never enough time to rest. Because I had to get it all done, but eventually I had to realize [00:13:00] that I'm gonna collapse because there never is enough time to get it all done.
[00:13:06] So I had to learn that it's time to rest. That's why rebuilding requires different kinds of strength. Not the strength to hold tighter, but the strength to release sooner. If you're a caregiver, a leader, a parent, or just a recovering fixer, this is your invitation. Stop trying to earn safety through control and start building it through trust.
[00:13:31] Because trust is what allows flow and flow is what allows repair. Repair. That's where resilience grows roots.
[00:13:45] Commercial Break: If stress and overwhelm or that relentless inner critic has been running the show, it's time to take back control. You don't need another motivational quote or feel good pep talk. You need a system, a tool, something that actually works when life gets messy. That's exactly why I [00:14:00] created mindset medicine worksheets, no fluff, no filler.
[00:14:03] Just proven strategies that are powerfully designed to help you rewire your thoughts for clarity and confidence. Break the cycle of overwhelm in minutes. Set boundaries that stick without guilt and turn stress into focus and action. This isn't about theory, it's about real transformation. And the best part is each episode of this podcast comes with a worksheet designed specifically for what you're learning today.
[00:14:26] No more wondering how to apply this. It's all mapped out for you. And if you're ready to stop spitting your wheels and start making real shifts, grab today's worksheet below because life's too short to stay stuck. Check out the episode specific worksheet in today's podcast. Show notes below. The link is right there for you.
[00:14:49] Dr. Julia Bowlin: In this next section, I'm gonna guide you through a short coaching moment. It's a practice I call micro trusting. It's simple, but very, very powerful because sometimes the most [00:15:00] transformational work starts from something as small as noticing that life actually showed up for you today. Let's take this from theory to practice.
[00:15:08] It's a thousand tiny yeses whispered throughout your day. What does that look like? So wherever you are right now, driving, walking, folding laundry, maybe hiding in the bathroom for a few minutes of peace, just take a slow breath in and let it go. Now ask yourself a simple question, where did life support me today?
[00:15:33] Don't overthink it. Just notice the first thing that comes to mind. Maybe it was a parking space that opened up when you were running late. Maybe a friend texted right when you felt really alone. Maybe the nurse shift finally went smoothly, or your kid actually laughed instead of rolling their eyes.
[00:15:52] That's it. That's a micro moment of trust. Prove that life isn't always working against you. Sometimes it's working [00:16:00] with you, and the brain doesn't distinguish between big and small safety cues. It only knows whether you notice them. So when you recognize these moments, you reeducate your nervous system, you're teaching it.
[00:16:13] See, we can relax. Support exists. So here's your coaching challenge. Step one, every evening this week, write down one way that life showed up for you that day. Just one. Step two, when you write it, say out loud, I see it. I receive it. That phrase is important because noticing without receiving keeps you in analysis mode and receiving shifts you into embodiment.
[00:16:45] All right. You don't have to turn this into a gratitude dissertation. Just a quick nod of awareness. It's like training a puppy. The more often you reward the behavior you want, the faster it becomes automatic, and over time, your [00:17:00] brain starts scanning for support instead of threats. Your focus shifts from what's missing to what's arriving.
[00:17:08] That's the real neuroplasticity of trust, repetition, awareness, and receptivity. So tonight, before you scroll or crash, pause for 15 seconds and find that micro moment of trust. Let it land, let it rewire something small but sacred inside of you. If today felt heavy, if you can't find anything obvious, here's your fallback.
[00:17:33] I'm still breathing, I'm still here, and that means life hasn't given up on me because that counts. That absolutely counts. Up next, we're gonna talk about micro trusts and anchor it deeper with the visualization. I'm gonna call this the bridge of trust. This is designed to help your body remember what safety feels like, even when the future's absolutely foggy as all get out.
[00:17:58] Alright? So wherever [00:18:00] you are, if it's safe to do so, take a moment and be still. Let your hands rest. Let your shoulders drop and just breathe with every exhale. Imagine setting something down a bag, a plan, a worry, a piece of control that you've been gripping without even realizing it. And take one more slow inhalation through your nose and exhale through your mouth.
[00:18:31] Good. Now, I want you to imagine that you're standing at the edge of a bridge and it stretches out in front of you, suspended in a gentle mist, you can't see the other side clearly, and that's okay. The air here feels calm. It's soft against your skin. There's a quiet hum of life all around you, and this bridge represents trust.
[00:18:54] For every plank beneath your feet is an experience, a lesson, and a moment. Where you [00:19:00] survived, what you once thought you couldn't, and you've already crossed harder terrain than this before in your life. Now look down at your feet and notice how each board glows faintly under your step, lightly rising to meet you as you move forward.
[00:19:18] You don't have to force this moment at all. You just have to take one step and let the bridge do the rest.
[00:19:30] As you take that first step, whisper to yourself. I surrender and release. Feel your body respond. The muscles unclench, the breath deepens, the heart softens. You can almost hear your nervous system Exhale with you. Now another step. The fog ahead swirls gently, and you notice the light beneath your feet glowing brighter.
[00:19:59] [00:20:00] Warmer steadier. You may not see the destination, but the path itself feels alive, intelligent, guiding and safe. Every step you take is a micro trusts every plank. You remember your courage, and if a part of you still wants to control the pace, that's okay. Just think it and take another step anyway.
[00:20:24] Somewhere in the distance you sense a soft golden glow. Not a finish line, but a feeling. It's the energy of support, of timing, of life saying, I've got you Pause there for a minute. In that space between not knowing and knowing, and let yourself fill that bridge, just holding you. Notice that even in uncertainty.
[00:20:49] You are supported. This is the embodiment of trust. It isn't about think the whole path. It's about remembering that light meets your foot every time you step forward. [00:21:00]
[00:21:01] Now, in your mind, repeat these words after me. I trust the
[00:21:06] process. I trust my timing. I trust life to meet me where
[00:21:12] I am. Let that truth settle into your chest.
[00:21:18] An anchor,
[00:21:19] a calm pulse of knowing. And when you're ready, imagine walking the final few steps to the center of that bridge. You stop there surrounded by light.
[00:21:33] You've crossed enough to know that you can keep going. You've released enough to feel lighter. You've trusted enough to feel transformed. Take one last deep breath in,
[00:21:52] and as you exhale, bring your awareness slowly back to your body, your hands, your feet, [00:22:00] your surroundings, wiggle your fingers and your toes.
[00:22:05] Notice how grounded you feel, how quiet the body becomes when the mind stops arguing with life. You don't have to see the whole
[00:22:16] bridge. Just take the next step and life will meet you there.
[00:22:24] Welcome back to the present. Let's take another breath and just
[00:22:27] noticed how do you feel right now? Maybe a little softer, a little open, maybe a little less like you're holding the universe together with dental floss. That bridge you just walked, wasn't imaginary, it was rehearsal. Your nervous system just practiced trust in real time.
[00:22:45] And here's what's wild about the brain. It doesn't care whether the bridge was physical or visualized. It is still learned that your trust feels safe. When we pair emotion with imagery, the brain encodes that pattern as [00:23:00] truth. So each time you revisit this visualization, you're literally strengthening the neural pathways of calm, safety and surrender.
[00:23:08] That's how healing becomes habit. But integration isn't just what's happening in your head, it's how you move through your day. It's the choice to pause before reacting, to breathe instead of bracing to say, I trust this unfolding even when you can't see the reason. That's alignment, trust, and motion. It's where rebuilding shifts from theory into embodiment.
[00:23:34] So here is your integration reflection for this week. Where in my life is trust, trying to grow. Maybe it's in your health journey, a relationship, your business, or even in your grief. Maybe it's something as simple as trusting your body to know when it's time to rest, write it down, and each time the old need to control creeps back in.
[00:23:59] Whisper your [00:24:00] mantra, surrender and release. You're not abandoning responsibility. You're aligning with flow. You're choosing collaboration with life over combating it. And honestly, life is a much better dance partner when you stop trying to lead. The truth is rebuilding isn't about becoming who you were before the storm.
[00:24:23] It's about trusting who you're becoming after it. That version of you, the one that's learning to walk the bridge even when it's foggy. That's the one with the real power. So here's what I want you to remember from today's episode. Rebuilding isn't about perfection. It's about partnership between you and life, between your brain and your spirit, between who you were and who you're becoming.
[00:24:49] You don't rebuild through control. You rebuild through trust. Tiny acts of trust that remind you. You're still guided, you're still supported. [00:25:00] You're still becoming that bridge. You walk today, it's still there. Every time you take a breath, you're already one step across it. Let this line stay with you through the week.
[00:25:12] You don't have to see the whole bridge. Just take the next step. Life will meet you there because that's the real comeback code. Not hustle, not hustle. Disguised as healing, just presence, patience and trust in the unfolding. Next week we're gonna step into the third and final heart virtue of this trilogy.
[00:25:34] Transcendence. If faith helped you rise and trust, help you rebuild. Transcendence will help you fly. It's about the art of rising higher than the circumstances. Letting meaning mission and grace become the wind beneath our rebuild wings. Until then, keep noticing these micro moments of support. Keep crossing that bridge, one breath at a time.[00:26:00]
[00:26:00] And as always, may you be happy. Be healthy and be fulfilled.
[00:26:11] Outro: Thank you for listening to Mindset Medicine with your host, Dr. Julia Bowlin. To learn more about mindset medicine, go to www.juliabowlinmd.com and connect with Dr. Julia to find out how our team can help you today. Join us again next week for more expert tips, tools, and strategies to become healthier, wealthier, and wiser in your personal and professional life.
