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[00:00:00] Dr. Julia Jingles: The decision itself doesn't create change. Learning doesn't create change. Doing does.
[00:00:12] Hello and welcome to Mindset Medicine. I'm Dr. Julia Bowlin, physician, author, hypnotherapist, and the founder of Personal Awareness Medicine. In the past month, we dove deep into fearless decision making, and I realize that September had five weeks. So I needed to come up with a bonus episode because I put my podcast episodes out on Tuesdays, and there's five Tuesdays.
[00:00:34] So here we go. So last month or this month, we pulled fear Outta the Shadows and we reframed it as just a compass instead of a stop sign. We explored the 70% rule. Realizing that waiting for certainty is just a way of procrastinating. We also looked at regret proofing choices, how to act in ways that your future self will.
[00:00:58] Thank you for. [00:01:00] Then we wrapped it all up with gut instincts, the science behind why your intuition is smarter than you think. But here's the blunt truth. Decisions are only the first half of the equation. Yes, they give you clarity. Yes, they give you direction, but clarity without action is like owning a gym membership and never stepping on a treadmill.
[00:01:22] The decision itself doesn't create change. Learning doesn't create change. Doing does. That's why today we're closing out September with a bold message. Stop deciding, start doing, because fearless decision makings only matters if they move you forward unapologetically. So I wanna explain what Unapologetic means, because we're gonna be talking about that a lot in October.
[00:01:47] So let's clear it up. When I say unapologetic, I don't mean being harsh, selfish, or walking around with your middle finger energy. I mean, living in a way that doesn't shrink you [00:02:00] or fit you into somebody else's comfort zone. It's choosing health without apologizing for skipping dessert. It's speaking up at a meeting without softening your voice.
[00:02:10] It's doing what's aligned with your peace, your body, your energy without overexplaining, excusing and saying, I'm sorry or shrinking. That's where we're heading in October. Unapologetic living and the decisions we've been making all September. Well, those are your launchpad for this next shift. So let's dig deeper.
[00:02:31] What's the real difference between making a decision and actually doing the thing? And why do most of us get stuck and the endless deciding instead of unapologetically doing the thing? So here's a coaching truth. Deciding something just feels safe. It's in your head, but doing it can feel really, really scary.
[00:02:54] Why? Because deciding is just happening in your head. You can reverse, you can rehearse. You can [00:03:00] weigh the pros versus the cons. You can tell yourself you're gonna start on Monday, but doing the thing that's when the rubber meets the road. Doing means you might fail or succeed and then have to maintain it.
[00:03:14] Or face other people's opinions. That's why so many of us stay stuck in the loop of deciding over and over again. It feels productive, but it's really just motion without movement. Let me give you a concrete example. Years ago I worked with a patient who wanted to quit smoking. Many patients for that matter, but this particular person had decided to quit at least 15 times.
[00:03:38] She had the date circled on her calendar. She threw away all her cigarettes only to buy another pack. Two days later, when I asked her what kept happening, she said, I keep deciding, but then I don't do it. I'm waiting to feel ready. Here's the breakthrough. Readiness doesn't come from deciding readiness comes from the doing the first car ride [00:04:00] without lighting up.
[00:04:00] The first stressful phone call without reaching for the pack. The first awkward dinner where she had to excuse herself and breathe instead of smoking. That's when she shifted from, I've decided to, I'm doing it, and that's the bridge we all have to cross. Decisions, create the map. Doing takes you down the road and unapologetic living.
[00:04:22] That's where you stop worrying about who's watching you, and you just walk your path anyway. So if deciding isn't enough, how do we train ourselves to do unapologetically? This is where your subconscious comes in and where we're gonna practice it together. Right now. Here's the shift we're making.
[00:04:41] September gave us the courage to decide October. It's about unapologetic living, and that's not just mindset. Everybody that is everyday life. Here's a story. My mother had a golden rule. You do not leave the house unless you're all put together and I mean, put together hair, done, lipstick on [00:05:00] earrings in shoes, polished.
[00:05:01] She'd rather be late to an event than being risk to see being out of place like her hair out of place, or makeup out place. And she expected her daughters to do the same. Now let's fast forward into my life and my sister's life. We're juggling full-time medicine practices, raising kids, managing a household, taking care of our husband, being caretakers for the ill people in our family and our patients managing our property, and a million other hats.
[00:05:29] And at some point I had to choose between being perfectly coifed like my mom, or actually having the energy to live my life. And spoiler alert, the makeup bag got lost in that battle. I started going to the grocery store and scrubs with no makeup, hair, pulled back, maybe a hat on. Not because I didn't care about myself, but because I cared about my sanity.
[00:05:51] It was a conscious, unapologetic choice to simplify, to free up brain power for the things that actually mattered. And you know what? The world [00:06:00] didn't end. The cashier still scanned my groceries. The people in the produce aisle didn't run away screaming, and I wasn't being lazy. I was being liberated.
[00:06:10] That's the difference between living for appearances and living unapologetically. One drains you, the other, frees you, and that's exactly what October is going to be about. I'm gonna be dropping old scripts, the ones that say you have to look, act, eat, or perform in certain ways, and instead boldly choosing what actually serves you.
[00:06:31] It's about unapologetic action. So here's where we're headed. We're going to practice this together. Unapologetic living doesn't just happen because it wants to happen. It happens when you retrain your mind to respond differently in the moment, and that's the shift. That's where hypnotherapy can come in.
[00:06:50] Today we're gonna use a tool called Swish Pattern. It's going to help you rewire hesitation. The moment you start to waffle or feel embarrassed, it's going to [00:07:00] help you rewire that into the bold, unapologetic action that you've been craving. Think of this as your subconscious warmup for this up and coming October series.
[00:07:10] So here we go. Remember, hypnotherapy uses focused attention and relaxation to help your subconscious adopt better, healthier responses so that action really feels more natural. Instead of force let's hardwire doing into your day with a SW powder. We're gonna spend extra time finding just the right micro moment that lands just for you.
[00:07:32] So I want you to take a moment here. A micro moment is a little five to 32nd window where you can see your old habits sneaking in. That's that hinge before you start to decide and do something. It might be an emotional thing. It might be about public speaking. It might be about food choices, for example.
[00:07:52] It might be some scroll doom scrolling on your phone or you're reaching for a quick snack. The hinge is like [00:08:00] that very first thing you caught yourself. You might be having a family member who pushes your buttons. That might be your hinge. It might be the panic before you have to do a presentation or talk to your boss or your colleague.
[00:08:11] That might be it. So I just want you to think about. A moment when you have a decision that needs to be made. Again, it could be emotional, it could be physical, it could be a choice about food, it could be a decision about having to do something hard. I just want you to think about it for just a second,
[00:08:31] and if you have it, I would like you to rate the intensity of it. I don't want this to be like a really heavy, brutal 10 or really like nothing really big like. Getting a glass of water would be a one, something that's like a, a level three to six, something that you can win without feeling overwhelmed. So just find a moment where you know you need to catch yourself again.
[00:08:52] It could be about food, it could be about a relationship conflict, having a hard conversation. So first I want you to think [00:09:00] about the old pattern, the way you've been doing this, and I want you to look up, frame like a, somebody just took a picture of that moment, like a still photo, and I want you to see what you look like.
[00:09:11] Is your shoulder slumping because you're opening the pantry or the refrigerator? Are you getting ready to open Facebook to doom? Scroll on, uh, some of the reels you might be thinking, yes, I can do that, but I just want you to like, what are you feeling? What's your posture? What's your facial expression when you're getting ready to do that one thing that you wanna change?
[00:09:38] And then where in your body are you feeling this? Is it a throat tightness, a chest pressure, a belly flutter, a tightness behind your neck? When you're getting ready to do this old pattern that you want to change, where is it in your body? And take a picture of that and feel the feelings. And I want you to make this image a little [00:10:00] brighter just so your brain can tag it as the one we are replacing.
[00:10:05] So get that image clear in your head. And now we're gonna design a new image. The unapologetic you, a vivid replacement of what you're doing in the aligned action. Something you want that's clean, it's calm, it has no drama. For example, you might be setting the phone first down. You might be rolling your shoulders back, taking a deep breath, and standing with confidence.
[00:10:32] If you're at the pantry or the refrigerator, you might shut the door. Pour some water or brew tea, something different. So let's look at this new image, the unapologetic, you making the different decision, and we're gonna dial that up closer, brighter. You're breathing steadily, your shoulders are stacked, your jaw is soft.
[00:10:56] I want you to say something in your head, [00:11:00] something that you can link a word to this. I am strong. I am confident. I am a better chooser. I am calm. Whatever it is. Come up with a quick little sentence of that you, that feels strong, aligned, clean, calm, without drama. This is you doing the identity unapologetically aligned and efficient.
[00:11:24] So now you have two images, right? You've got the first frame of you getting ready to do the action, and then you've got the next frame of you, the next image, doing it in the way that you want it to be done, unapologetically aligned, and efficient. So now I want you to take the old snapshot, put it right in the middle of your view, and I want you to take the new image and just see it to the right or the bottom below.
[00:11:49] Down below is like a tiny little thumbnail. On my count, the old image is gonna shrink and fade, and the new one is gonna whoosh in big and bright to fill [00:12:00] the entire screen that you're looking at. One second, snappy. 3, 2, 1. The old gone. The new big, bold, bright, breathing like the kind of person who's already done this.
[00:12:15] Open your eyes if they're open or if they're closed. Then close them again. Let's do it again. Old one comes in small. Get small. Smaller, smaller, smaller. Swish gone. Feel your posture reset. Standing tall. See the new you. See the proud you, the confident you we're gonna do it again. Bring up the old image.
[00:12:34] Smaller, smaller, smaller. Three, two ones. Swish. Hear your micro phrase, say it. I am strong. I am confident. I am capable. I make better choices. Feel the new you. Big, bold. Feel what that feels like. Feel that confidence. We're gonna do it one more time. Let's go back. The old you, the little tiny image of you.
[00:12:56] It's getting tinier and ti. Smaller. Smaller. That old you. [00:13:00] Swish gun, boom. The big you. Bigger. Bigger, bolder, brighter, stronger. You got this. Now take a deep breath. I use that swish pattern so often where I get rid of the old choices or feelings or experiences or even memories. And I make them smaller, smaller, smaller, and I swish them out, bringing in the big, bold, new, better.
[00:13:28] Me that's taking better action. This swish technique is a way of desensitizing minimizing the past and bringing in the new you. And if you struggle not being able to see images, you can use sensations or sounds like the feel of glass in your hand with a glass of water, or exhaling and inhaling through your nose with ease and breathing.
[00:13:51] If the old picture clings. Like you're having a hard time getting it. Gray it out, shrink it to a postage sample and make [00:14:00] the new one bigger, brighter, closer, louder. And maybe even add a tiny body cue, like a shoulder roll like I did, or standing up straight, shoulders down, just so your nervous system can grab it, feel it, and experience it.
[00:14:18] So here's something I call the future test. Imagine tomorrow. Okay. Like you're watching a micro movie, and notice how an old hesitation might be fuzzy, like the way you used to do it, and the new behavior steps in. You're just gonna pull the new behavior in on autopilot because you've seen it, you have felt it, and you've practiced it with your switch technique.
[00:14:41] If your mom's voice or a colleague's expectation pops in, that's fine. Swish it away. Bring in your expected action that you now know what it feels like and looks like. All right. So I'd encourage you to just pick up one real life thing, [00:15:00] something you might meet tomorrow, such as walking into the pantry, opening up the refrigerator, walking into a colleague who might irk you or visualizing your family member you might run into who pushes your buttons.
[00:15:12] And remember, this is where it counts. You can pull this in prior to the episode. Imagine the old you disappearing, swishing, the new you. Calm, confident, capable, walking in and feeling fully capable of making a different action with a different decision. Here is why the Swish pattern works. It's a pattern interrupt, and then we're substituting something new.
[00:15:42] You stop rehearsing the old looping behaviors and immediately rehearse and practice the preferred one. So in your brain, your brain saves that as the next step, the next logical step, the next expected step. So practicing, eliminating and making the [00:16:00] old habit, tiny and small, grayed out, swish, bringing in the new behavior.
[00:16:05] Big, bold, strong, bright, clear, confident, capable. This is called Heian learning. We're firing new thoughts, wiring together, expected actions, and this repetition lays down a stronger pathway for your desired behavior. It is cool, it works. Your brain is a pre diction machine. By pre-install what it you expect to come next, you reduce the friction and hesitation in real life.
[00:16:37] This is really cool. The body cue. If you wanna do a tapping or a strength movement, sometimes I'll take my two fists and I'll do that, or I'll click a body cue while you're doing that. Shift sometimes helps too because it lets the nervous system swishing it knows that this is the moment you're changing, clapping your hands, you know, whatever it is you wanna do When you're doing that swish, you know, [00:17:00] old pattern, small, tiny, tiny clap.
[00:17:01] Clap. Big new expected behavior. That's huge. Translation. You just taught your brain a shorter, simpler route from decision making to doing so. Here's the takeaway today. Fearless decisions give you clarity, but unapologetic doing gives you freedom and you don't need another plan, another list, or another Monday to start again.
[00:17:28] You need one apologetic action today, no matter how small it might be. September gave us the courage to choose. October will give us the courage to live those choices out loud. We're going to bury diets, unmasked cravings, release old habits, and drag the skeletons out of the closet so they stop running the show.
[00:17:50] It's going to be a powerful month. So here's your challenge. As we close this episode up, stop circling decisions. Stop waiting for the perfect time, [00:18:00] and pick one apologetic action, even if it's really tiny, and just do it. The only way forward is through doing. I'd love to hear what landed for you in this bonus bridge episode.
[00:18:14] Drop a comment, send me a message. Share this episode with someone who's still stuck in decision mode. It might be the nudge that they need right now. And remember, I've set a dream of reaching a hundred people, new people in my podcast in a hundred days. You sharing and commenting makes this real for me.
[00:18:33] Make sure you're subscribed to my newsletter if you haven't already, because October is about to get really, really real. You can see how to sign up for my newsletters and catch up on real live events such as hypnotherapy techniques for weight management, and it's about to get real, unapologetic, bold, and freeing in October.
[00:18:52] I'm Dr. Julia Bowlin, and this is The Mindset Medicine Show. Until next time, may you be happy, be healthy, and be fulfilled.[00:19:00]
[00:19:05] Thank you for listening to Mindset Medicine with your host, Dr. Julia Bowlin. To learn more about mindset medicine, go to www.juliabowlinmd.com and connect with Dr. Julia to find out how our team can help you today. Join us again next week for more expert tips, tools, and strategies to become healthier, wealthier, and wiser in your personal and professional life.
